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The Top 100 Sports Tweets

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I decided to make this list because it truly combines the two things I’m most passionate about: sports and social media. Plus, I got to spend a bunch of time searching through the tweets of ten of the best sports-related Twitter users. It was tough, and honestly, I could have made a list just of Shaq or Bill Simmons tweets, which is why they dominate here. Believe me, I know I missed a ton of great tweets from a ton of great accounts, so please don’t get mad! But do feel free to add ones I might have missed in the comment section below. I hope you enjoy the list!


1. Yo momma so old she owes moses a dollar. (tweet)
2.– Answer honestly (tweet)
3. Dear ashton kutcher yo momma sol old the key on ben franklins kite, was to her apartment. Respond if yur not scared (tweet)
4. Went to the la zoo today, a chimpanzee spit at me, dam I must be ugly, lol (tweet)
5. my new hairstyle the george jefferson fade (tweet)
6. Congratualtions kobe, u deserve it. You played great . Enjoy it my man enjoy it. And I know what yur sayin rt now “Shaq how my ass taste” (tweet)
7. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. – (tweet)
8. This is what van gundy and dwight howards baby would look like (tweet)
9. big witness vs shaqalier whys it called nickname whos nick? shud be shaqname (tweet)
10. I’m at the fashion sq mall, any1 touches me gets 2 tickets, tag me and say yur twit u hv 20 min (tweet)
12. Question, I’m n dc, think if I walk up to the white house, they let me in, I kno the answer, let me kno wht u think, o yea I’m wearin shrts (tweet)
13. The white house wouldn’t let me in, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy (tweet)
14. Let’s go baby, who you wit , it aint over til this lady sings, Hi yoOooou doin, lmao (tweet)
15. Coming soon people, o yea this what I can do with photoshop ,lol (tweet)
16. Dear david beckham, I kno u heard about my shaq vs show, anyway u will never score a goal on me, I challenge you lil man (tweet)
17. Dear david beckham, dnt make me tweet to 2 million people that yur scared of shaq, u betta respnd, if u scared get a dog (tweet)
18. i wanna play this guy n horse for a thousand dollars, find him pls (tweet)
19. – The baby face assasin is back (tweet)
20. My numbers are not good enough to retire 3 more yrs left (tweet)
21. Me and the shaolin monks buddha blessed (tweet)
22. terrell owens could do It, so can I, lol, laugh people laugh (tweet)
23. To all twitterers , if u c me n public come say hi, we r not the same we r from twitteronia, we connect (tweet)

Bill Simmons (@SportsGuy33)

1. Even though it hasn’t happened yet, I’m nominating Kevin Jonas’ bachelor party as the worst one ever. (tweet)
2. As much as I’d love a jail movie channel called Barz, I’d rather have a sports movie channel called Ballz. (tweet)
3. That game didn’t just kill the 2009 Red Sox season, it chopped it up and put it in different suitcases like a serial killer. (tweet)
4. Pick a date for the first gigantic brawl between Eagles fans and PETA protesters. I am taking Sept. 20th. (tweet)
5. I feel like my Dad is one hole away from potentially winning the British Open. (tweet)
6. When my daughter turns 16, I’m making her watch “Taken” + telling her, “This is what might happen if you don’t listen to me.” (tweet)
7. You know your season is in trouble when you’re excited because your team foiled a no-hitter in the second inning. (tweet)
8. Fifty million for Anderson Varejao????? I have to go to bed. Upside down. With saran wrap over my head. HOW AM I NOT A GM??? (tweet)
9. Balloon Boy’s parents went on Wife Swap, believe in aliens and named him “Falcon.” There’s no way they made up this thing! (tweet)
10. I am thinking of a word that rhymes with “pluck.” And begins with an “f.” (tweet)
11. Lebron’s box score in newspaper I am reading: 45 11 24 15 19 3 14 12 3 37. Looks like a lottery drawing. We are all witnesses. (tweet)
12. Seriously, how hard is it to run a professional sports league? Isn’t rule No. 1, “Don’t totally antagonize your fan base?” (tweet)
13. Delhomme had 3X as many pass attempts as D’Angelo Williams had carries. That’s not a game plan, that’s a suicide mission. (tweet)
14. “You have gotta settle yourself down. You have gotta flat settle yourself down.” Golf announcing everybody! (tweet)
15. Just realized that Tour De France combines 3 of my least favorite things: cycling, cyclists & France. No wonder I hate it! (tweet)
16. True or false: Roethlisberger mistakenly thought this game was being played on Sunday and got plastered last night. (tweet)
17. New nickname for Brett Favre: “VD.” We can’t get rid of him. (tweet)
18. If Maria Sharapova tweeted: “Ohhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!! EW-AHHHHHHH! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! Ohhhhhh-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” (tweet)
19. True or false: You’d be excited if a brawl broke out in the Little League World Series. (tweet)
20. Things I’d rather do over enduring another Vick/Favre news update, Vol. 80: watch a 2-hr Danny DeVito/Rhea Perlman sex tape. (tweet)
21. Parent-kid relationships need to be renegotiated. We give up fun + sleep for them, they return the favor by getting us sick. (tweet)
22. It would be so much more fun if CC Sabathia wore suspenders. (tweet)
23. Please don’t blame the Prez for throwing a lousy first pitch. He was wearing a bulletproof vest the size of Dustin Pedroia. (tweet)
24. A little late, but multiple Seattle readers sent along a postgame pic from UW-USC that slayed me. (tweet)
25. “I’d like a non-fat decaf latte” is a fancy way of announcing, “I suck, don’t ask me out.” (tweet)

Shawne Merriman(@ShawneMerriman)

1. Forget the gun…forget shooting yourself…you had on sweat pants in the CLUB man thats tough (tweet)
2. @OGOchoCinco i promise you im going to try my best to destroy you and if your trying to put on the gloves name the time and place!!! (tweet)
3. I want to punch a bunch of guys but i would never risk getting suspended and fined i love my $ (tweet)

Mark Cuban (@mcuban)

1. @SI_PeterKing just because you are clueless doesnt mean everyone else is Peter. Is SI still in business ? (tweet)
2. today is the youngest you will ever be. Live like it #fb (tweet)
3. Business is a sport that is played 24x7x365 and the whole world is the other team (tweet)
4. just found out got fined25k by nba.) nice (tweet)
5. slingbox on itouch saving me while other people’s kids r dancing at recital (tweet)

C.J. Wilson (@Str8edgeracer)

1. Who the hell puts a bus stop in front of a lamborghini/Bentley dealership? That’s cruel san fran for ya (tweet)
2. I still have ZERO clue why anyone would follow britney spears on twitter…or follow anyone who doesn’t do their own updates. (tweet)
3. Standing on a corner near central park, not sure if that is fear or hunger on the faces of the hot dog cart customers (tweet)
4. I wonder if guys who tackle vick are going to bark at him? (tweet)
5. Thinks “there’s an app for that” could be the next “that’s what she said” (tweet)
6. I think it’s funny when yankee fans send me @ replies about how good the yankees are. I don’t live in a cave! (tweet)
7. whoever says that they left their heart in san francisco never had to play in the oakland coliseum. (tweet)
8. – for @stacher, my sinker grip as requested (tweet)
9. I think it’s funny when people send me un-sober @ messages, in a half-sad way (tweet)
10. it’s funny how “fans” complain about salaries for athletes- but never for bad actors-middle america has made lindsay loho and britney rich. (tweet)

Lance Armstrong (@LanceArmstrong)

1. – A msg to cancer, heart attacks, and accidents that rob us of our loved ones. (tweet)
2. Yet another “surprise” anti-doping control. 24th one. This one from the French authorities. Urine, blood, and hair! Classic.. (tweet)
3. – Uhh…. (tweet)
4. – Office view today. Poor me. (tweet)
5. “Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” –Mahatma Gandhi (tweet)
6. – Ran into and rode a bit with Thomas and Nicole from Telluride yesterday. Nicole’s mom is a survivor. Go Mrs. Greene! (tweet)

Jalen Rose (@JalenRose)

1. Anyone remember having to “blow” inside the cartridge or stackng two of the game tapes on top of each other to plan Nintendo(techmo bowl) (tweet)
2. anyone that’s been a college student athlete knows that you must dedicate just as much time energy and passion to your books as your sport! (tweet)
3. Watching Kobe and LeBron makes me happy that I retired! lolol..amazing talents (tweet)
4. Shout to (det native)Xavier guard Jordan Crawford for dunking on LeBron–so the tape got confiscated by Nike/Lebrons camp–whats up w/that? (tweet)
5. I am the only person I know that doesn’t play golf or eat sushi…am I alone? Why? (tweet)
6. “Fear is only a limitation of your mind”–Air Jordan (tweet)
7. Watching my Michigan Wolverines lose to our Junior Varsity program Michigan St–uggghhhh–20-6(14 mins left)—GO BLUE! (tweet)

Pardon The Interruption, ESPN (@PTIShow)

1. What a catch by Braylon Edwards. If you press mute and listen carefully, you can hear the sound of Cleveland vomiting. (tweet)
2. Perhaps it went like this… Tour: “You’re fined.” Tiger: “No, I’m not.” Tour: “Okay, you’re not. Hit ’em straight!” (tweet)
3. Thank you, Albert, for proving what all the ladies already know: bald men = clutch. (tweet)
4. Can you find the part in Al Michaels’ hair? (tweet)
5. TK: I’ve given up Swiss cheese for Muenster cheese. I’m a big fan of domestic Swiss, but I’m going Muenster and I don’t care who knows it! (tweet)
6. David Cook’s beard is more manicured than the infield grass. Hurts his rocker cred. (tweet)
7. Happy trails, St. Louis Cardinals! Enjoy your Holliday! Zing! (tweet)
8. The Lions just scored, bringing at least 11,000 spectators to their feet. (tweet)
9. Stewart Cink has a two-toned head. (tweet)
10. TK: I forgot to tweet today. I feel horrible. I’m so sorry. I was playing golf. Michael shot par. I was a mere 23 over. (tweet)
11. If thick eyebrows have anything to do with hitting home runs, I’m going with Nelson Cruz. (tweet)

Kerry Rhodes (@KerryRhodes)

1. time for hot wings and ice cream!!! my pre game meal. OH and seirra mist and of course the healthy stuff(water) (tweet)
2. Massuesse here I swear she may be better than david blaine! She’s the real magician. She will have me ready 4 Monday (tweet)
3. i demand everyone to get up! lets get it! early worm gets the PATRIOT!!! (tweet)
4. time to get up and do something positive for someone else! make that happen! make somebody else feel happy fot themselves 5. 2day! try it! (tweet)

Chad OchoCinco (@ogochocinco)

1. OGOchoCinco Dis tweet is brought 2 u by Ocho Cinco Condoms. Feel d sensation of celebration everytime u touchdown. (tweet)
2. The NFL had there WAMW face on when I said I was gonna tweet, they made a rule saying I can’t, it’s all good, Mariachi Band in full effect!! (tweet)
3. Retiring and coming back is my new celebration, the only thing I can do and not get fined for!!!! After every touchdown I’m calling it quits (tweet)
4. Remember the smile Is for the supporters and fans and the fingers are for the critics and haters!! (tweet)
5. @britneyspears there might be a lockout in 2011, I’m available for that back dancer if you need me holla, my number is 513 621 3550 (tweet)
6. You will laugh as I explain the Ray Lewis hit <—-must see!!! (tweet)

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